Tired

-He'd had to admit worse things to more beautiful girls. Girls with bigger boobs that gave better head and that were generally more sexy to be around. He'd seen their faces cill with anger or tears or shock and it had never meant anything more to him than an annoyance. But as he said those words her lips just pressed together gently and her eyes were nothing but tired. It was a shock to him how much more it hurt him when she sighed a weary breath, closed her eyes, and turned to walk away. For once, maybe for the first time, he felt a pang of guilt that ran into a sloppy mess in his stomach. Why didn't he listen when she had silently pleaded with him to be the one that showed her she could still trust?

- Even before he opened his mouth she knew what was coming The air filled with smugness even as he attempted to cover it with false remorse. he didn't even need to say a word because she knew he no longer saw her as anyone. As she walked away she could tell their little exchange didn't go the way he was accustomed to. Too late, she knew his intentions. She inwardly cursed herself for thinking this time would be any different. Yes the build up was completely worth the pain for each individual occurrence but the thrill of each new one did not compound over time. It went out like a flame while the pain of each let down smoldered inside of her as embers of a growing bitterness. She knew that before long she would pride herself on her ability to be optimistic each time and her ability to move forward but right now, as always, it fucking sucked.

how i saved my wrists

So for a few years I've been wanting to come up with some way to share my poetry and short stories (if you want to call them that) and whatever else I just wanted other people to see. I don't claim to be any sort of writer or artist but whenever something really hurts me I've found that writing down the response I have tends to help me cope with it and to do so in a much healthier way than hurting myself physically or in other ways. Yes I realize that few to none people will ever read any of these posts, but I think it's good to get them out of my diary.